20 July 2013

If I look back I am lost.

The morning brought such happiness to me it pushed tears into my eyes.

For a month and a half, practically the whole summer, I've been locked in a void. You could call it apathy, but to me it meant more like death of the old spirit, and in the process also the death of my inspiration. More than anything it was a time of deep personal growth. Walking through days in a gray mist has felt much like a wasteland of depression, but not precisely. It was more of a period of cold silence and growth, focusing sometimes even selfishly on my inside and letting the dark and unnecessary burdens shed like snakeskin.

In the morning I could feel the inspiration flowing again, and I've rarely felt that grateful. So that's why I'm so happy now! It's hard to photograph such a feeling, so I'll just add a list here of little slightly vain and visual things I enjoy at the precise moment:

Bang bang! 
I started missing my bangs since they've been absent for months now. 
Cutting them again always feels like meeting an old friend.

30's half moon manicure with a sharpened edge and a matte finish has stuck to my nails for weeks.

I gave our orchids some coffee and they started to bloom like crazy!
I wish I could say the same thing about our poor herbs.

In the game of thrones, you win or you die.
It was worth all the wait to get the free hours to spend with these brilliant books!
 I devoured the first part quickly and now the Clash of Kings is waning towards its end.

 Bravo, Mr.Martin, bravo.

I've worn a lot of strappy shoes lately, so this trio is a current favourite. 
All are second hand, from flea markets and eBay. I found the used Jeffrey Campbell's Clinic shoes when there was still snow on the ground. I was aching to use them, but I had to get them repaired first because both of the platforms ripped off when I took them for the first walk. :-D Just my luck, but now they're good to go!

“Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.”

Last but never the least, comics.
I've always been certain that comics can teach you some profound lessons of life.
This particular scene is in my all-time top list and I wanted to share it with you.

And this reminds me that I've got a two-person comic club meeting with my friend, 
so I have to run now! I wish you all a wonderful Saturday evening. ♥


  1. I've always wanted to own a strappy shoes pair. Maybe one day...

    I really love that tiny moon tattoo on your finger <3! I wish I could get some tattoos on my hands too.

    1. I'm sure you'll find your strappy shoes, there's a huge selection out there. And thank you, I love my little moon too! What is stopping you from getting hand tattoos? I've never had problems with mine. :)

    2. I live in Poland and unfortunately tattoos which would be visible at work generally aren't gladly welcomed. But I hope in the near future it won't be a problem, couse I really want a moon tatoo on my forearm. Of course I could get it somewhere else, but I've already got other plans and it would disturb it.

  2. I'm so happy to see you this way now. Even if I don't know you personally, I've been through the same for the last 3 months, and it seems like an eternity that will never ever end and then someday you wake up and it feels different and it's just like that, from a day to another your whole spirit breathes again and your brain starts working and creating stuff and it's an amazing feeling after so much time of inside death.
    I adore your blog, I believe you're such an inspiration in style and you seem to be a very nice person. I hope everything works wonderful for you from now on.
    Greetings from a tiny anonymous friend from a country that's very very far.

    1. Hello anonymous friend, you made me feel warm with your comment. Thank you so much! <3 It's good to hear others have felt the same way, and indeed the day always comes when that feeling disappears. I think you described it quite perfectly.

      I wish you all the best!

  3. Beautiful photo's and i'm happy that you're feeling better :)

  4. Shoes are perfect!
    Which are you favorite comics?
    Love, Te

    1. That's a tricky question! I don't have just one, I've read comics as long as I've been able to read so I have a lot of favourites. :) As a grown-up my most beloved one is the Sandman, but I also love Fables, Hellboy, Bone, certain Batman volumes, American Vampire and Blacksad. And certain graphic novels that aren't really series, like V for Vendetta, MAUS and Violent Cases.

  5. There's nothing left to say, the anonymous friend said everything.
    Being such a sensitive and creative person as well. I understand your feelings and I wish you the best of this moment when we have again the control of our creativity and thoughts.

    Have a nice week, dear.

    1. Thank you so much for your words, I wish you a nice week as well! <3

  6. Hi, my name is Erika. It's the first time I comment here, but your blog is my favorite. I live in Brazil and I'm impressed as we like similar things, it makes me feel close to you, as a friend, even living so far away. I love strappy shoes and I love your style. I understand these moments of complete introspection and I think it's necessary, sometimes, but it's amazing when we just wake up and see that "we are back", always happens to me!

    1. Oh hi Erika! I'm so happy to hear you enjoy my blog. :) I think it's necessary too to go through transformations and be born anew.

  7. "Did you know: Alice in Wonderland
    Alice's character was based on a real-life little girl named Alice Liddell. However, the illustrations don't portray Ms. Liddell herself -- Alice Liddell had dark hair and short bangs!" ;)

    1. I knew about Alice Liddell but I had no idea that she had hair similar to mine! Cool. :D